Untitled (Until We Come Up With A Better One)
by Piece Bot
Summary: A bright light fills Ghastly's office as Skulduggery was about to report. Guess who? RATED T FOR SAFETY.
1. I'm Sorry

**Title: Untitled (Util We Come Up With A Better one)**

**Chapter 1: I'm Sorry**

**DISCLAIMER: WE DON'T OWN SKULDUGGERY PLEASANT OR TEAM FORTRESS 2. TEAM FORTRESS 2 BELONGS TO VALVE. SKULDUGGERY PLEASANT BELONGS TO DEREK LANDY.**

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**A hotel in Dublin …**

The Sniper sat quietly on one of the three beds in the room. He was listening to something he had long since enjoyed.

The quiet.

There weren't the noises of a sentry beeping as it kept a sensor out for any mechanical intruders, although Engi was two beds over fidgeting with some contraption he had made.

There wasn't the sound of nightmares coming from the Scout, the sound of soft crying coming from Medic's shoulder but orientating from the massive man of the Heavy, no jangle of metal accessories on Soldiers uniform.

The only sound still with him from that time was the Demo's snoring, as he was sprawled out on the middle bed, a bottle of Irish alcohol, empty, on the ground beside him.

He smiled to himself as he realised again that they were, for lack of a better sounding word, free.

The Team Fortress Program was shut down, now that there were no Brothers funding over useless land, now that the factories were safe from robots, their leader tripping over a Robo-scouts head and breaking his neck, they weren't needed anymore.

So here he was, relaxing with his drinking buddy and best friend, in Ireland, the start of their tour round the world. They were staying in a lovely hotel that their Pyro, who they recently discovered was a lady named Tanith, had recommended.

Demo began to wake.

"Erh, what 'ave I bin drinking?" He mumbled.

Sniper just chuckled and went to get his mate an aspirin. Once Demo was sober (and light tolerant) again, Sniper opened the curtains and said,

"You know what mates, I think we ought to go out to tea tonight."

"Aye! Ta celebrate the beginnin' o' a great new life, where we arn't blown ev'ry two minutes"

"You up for it Engi?"

No response.

"Dell?"

Sniper walked up and tapped him on the shoulder. Engi jumped two feet in the air and his contraption fell to the ground.

Sniper can only utter one sincere statement before the room is bathed in light.

"I'm sorry"

**Meanwhile, elsewhere in Dublin …**

Skulduggery and Valkyrie were, at the moment, chasing a stray Remnant that had somehow gotten free.

"Have we caught up to it yet?" Valkyrie asked the skeleton beside her.

"I think we're there." They skidded to a halt in front of a wall. They looked up and saw that it led to the Hibernian Cinema, where Kenspeckle Grouse was currently residing. The two detectives looked at each other and sprinted inside.

"Kenspeckle!" Valkyrie shouted. Kenspeckle always had a soft spot for Valkyrie. He always resented the way that Skulduggery dragged Valkyrie off to wherever they were going next.

"**Yes?**" Kenspeckle eerily came out of his office. He had a huge smile plastered to his face. Actually, the smile was a bit eerie to look at as well.

"Please tell me the Remnant has not taken control of him." She asked of Skulduggery.

"Okay, the Remnant has not taken control of Kenspeckle." Valkyrie grumbled for a bit. Skulduggery pulled out his trusty revolver. "Remnant, I order you to relinquish that man at once!"

"**No. I quite like this body. It's old but sturdy. This will do for now.**" Skulduggery grimaced at that and proceeded to shoot at Kenspeckle. But the skeleton felt darkness unlike any other at his side. He didn't have to turn his head to know that Darquesse was there.

"Valkyrie …" Skulduggery said quietly.

"_Valkyrie isn't here right now but would you like to leave a message?_" Skulduggery thought that Valkyrie was still annoying even as Darquesse.

"Fine, Darquesse. Please stop the Remnant and then try to kill me." Darquesse did just that. She managed to drag the Remnant out of Kenspeckle and he fell to the floor in a heap. A tendril of shadow then snaked towards Skulduggery but he was ready for that. He swatted the tendril aside and began to punch Darquesse. Darquesse threw up a wall of shadows and tried to break his ribcage but it didn't happen. Valkyrie stopped Darquesse just in time. Skulduggery watched in anticipation of the silent battle going on between Darquesse and Valkyrie.

"_Don't stop me! I'm about to kill the abomination!_"

"But I won't let you!" Valkyrie gritted her teeth and shoved Darquesse to the darkest recesses of her mind. The shadows left her and her Necro-Ring lost all its power. She felt drained. Skulduggery caught her and took her to the back of his Bentley. He laid her down in the back seat and drove to her house. He then levitated her up the side and into bed. Stephanie Edgley looked in wonder and Skulduggery told her to get back in the mirror. Skulduggery lifted Valkyrie up and placed her hand against the reflection's. It formed so that it showed Skulduggery holding Valkyrie. He put her to bed and waited for her to wake up outside the window.

**14 hours later …**

Valkyrie woke up to a splitting headache. Skulduggery poked his head in.

"Oh good. You're awake."

"Have I been sleeping?"

"No, you've just been dead for the last fourteen hours. Well, dead to the world that is."

"Ha ha. Are we going to see Ghastly?"

"Well, we have to don't we?" After letting Valkyrie's reflection roam free again, Skulduggery drove the Bentley to the Sanctuary. They walked in, Skulduggery found the lock, pushed it and walked down the stone steps.

"Hey Skulduggery! How are ya?" Ghastly asked them as they walked in.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine thanks for asking, not that anyone did." Valkyrie muttered under her breath. Skulduggery was about to retort but a bright light had filled the room.

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**This is our first collaboration. This is a collab from DarkDarsi and Piece Bot.**


	2. Arrival

**Chapter 2: Arrival**

**DISCLAIMER: WE DON'T OWN SKULDUGGERY PLEASANT OR TF2. TF2 BELONGS TO VALVE. SKULDUGGERY PLEASANT BELONGS TO DEREK LANDY.**

**A/N: SCREW CANON! WE HAVE AU!**

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A flash of bright light lit up the interior of Ghastly's office. A group of red-clothed people dropped out of the light and promptly fell over each other.

"Are they dead?" Valkyrie asked Ghastly.

"Don't think so. I think they're just knocked out." Ghastly inspects the group, more specifically, the person with the slouch hat and vest.

"I think I recognise this vest …"

"You do?" Skulduggery asked.

"Yeah, I never forget the clothes that I make and this vest seems familiar … I'm going to have to take it off of him and inspect it closer." Ghastly pried the vest off the guy, folded it neatly and carefully and put it on his desk.

"Want to take them to Kenspeckle?" Ghastly asked the skeleton.

"I was just about to ask that but you beat me to the punch!" Valkyrie exclaimed. Skulduggery leant down, picked two of the heaviest guys and put them over his shoulders like they were nothing but a couple sacks of flour. Valkyrie struggled to lift even one so Ghastly had to help out. Ghastly Bespoke rolled the others on top of one another and lifted them up with Valkyrie's help.

"Don't bump their-" Too late. Valkyrie managed to bump all their heads against the side of the door frame.

"Ouch." They carried them out of the Sanctuary and to Skulduggery's car.

"What took you?" Valkyrie glowered at him as she and Ghastly put the others inside the huge boot of the Bentley. Ghastly waved them off.

**A few minutes later …**

All the guys were inside the Hibernian, eventually. It took only about half an hour to bring them all in.

"Now what do we have here?" Kenspeckle asked. When he looked at the guy whose vest Ghastly took off he was taken aback.

"It cannot be … Detective, take a look at him … doesn't he look just like his grandfather?"

"Hmm you may be right … let me take a look." Skulduggery looked at the figure and his face was unreadable, but then again, it always is.

**Hours later ...**

Sniper woke up but he didn't open his eyes.  
"Oh bloody hell! What did we do last night?"  
He opened his eyes and looked around. He saw Demo and Engie on beds next to him.  
'We're in some sort of hospital or something' Sniper thought.

He got off his bed and noticed that his vest was gone.

"Bloody hell! Someone's gonna pay."

He cursed under his breath. He tried to walk to the door but he stumbled and ended up using the handrail of his bed as a support, he then notices a picture on the wall in front of his face.  
It is of three men standing in front of a German medical outpost. He recognised the first figure from the ANZAC ceremonies he went to. The man was a Digger, one who stood against the Nazis while still being _with_ the Germans, the man had proved that there were still those free from Hitler's reign of terror. The man in the middle he didn't recognise but the last one he did know.

Engie woke up behind him, so he left from perusing the picture to tend to his friend. A few moments after Dell was settled, Travis started to rouse. It took a bit longer but he was back on his feet soon enough. Bruce call the other two over to the photo.

"Have a look at the bloke on the end. Seem familiar?" He asked them. They looked and after a few double takes Engie said,

"That, that's Medic!"

"A really young Medic" Demo added.

"The one on the left's an ANZAC. Anyone recognise the bloke in the middle?"

"Kenspeckle." The trio spun around to face the owner of the new voice. An old man, who looked as old as time itself, had shiny-looking lab coat on with bobs and ends spilling out of the pockets.

"How do you know of Heinrich?" Kenspeckle inquires.

"You tell us how you know 'im, and we'll tell you our connection." Sniper replies.

"Very well. As you can see," the scientist pointed to the picture, "I use to work with him. He was one of the most amazing doctors I ever met. We still keep in contact with each other. Now it's your turn."

"We too use ta work with 'em" Travis comments.

"You know 'bout the Team Fortress Program?" Sniper asked, nodding towards the scientist.

"Umm, I've heard very little about it."

"Yes well Heinrich was our Medic. This here is Dell Coughman, the Engineer." Sniper pointed to Engie.

"Howdy."

"Travis Degroot, the Demoman." Snipe pointe to Demo.

"You better not blow anything up around here!" Kenspeckle exclaimed.

"Don't ye worry lad, I'll be gentle." Demo chuckled a bit.

"And I'm Bruce Mundy, the Sniper."

"Mundy? Hmph, you wouldn't happen to be related to a Mick Mundy would you?" Kenspeckle inquired again.

"Actually yes, he was my grandfather. He gave me his vest before he died. The Vest I _was_ wearing before we fell unconscious. You know what happened to it?"

Kenspeckle was about to answer when a living skeleton burst through the doors, carrying a teenage girl. She had burns all over her.

"Kenspeckle help! She's almost gone!"

Sniper rushed forward and grabbed the girl out of his arms as Demo shouted to Engie, who was already getting his PDA out.

"Need a Dispenser here!"

'I wished Medic was here right now.' Sniper thought to himself as Engie went to work creating the Dispenser.

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**That's the second chapter. Finally … What has happened to Valkyrie? Find out in the next chapter!**


End file.
